TWANA LAWLER

Turning Pain into Purpose

I was diagnosed with AIDS dementia, which came with severe depression and a prognosis of just two weeks to live. While the doctor gave me this diagnosis, I believe that God has the power to heal, and I know this to be true because I am living proof. This all happened in 2013. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, but I want to emphasize the importance of being safe by practicing safe sex. I got HIV from a so called man of God but he was the opposite. I know he gave it to me on purpose.

I believe he deliberately gave me that terrible disease because I was hesitant to give in. He pushed me into it and lied to make me contract HIV. I told him he needed to use a condom, and this so-called Christian pretended to put one on. But just two minutes later, after he finished, I realized he hadn’t used one at all. I panicked inside, unsure if the condom had fallen off inside me, but it hadn’t been on at all. He can be charged for intentionally giving me a chronic illness, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only victim.  

Ten years later, while living in California, I started to feel unwell. I visited a female doctor who suggested that my symptoms might indicate HIV. Since I had been celibate for ten years, I was confident the test would come back negative. However, she assured me that my previous sexual history did not change the possibility of the diagnosis. So that was the time that I went from HIV to AIDS with two weeks to live. I am here God kept me for a reason and it is to share my testimony with you awesome people.

During the two weeks leading up to my doomsday, I had a dream about Maya Angelou and Andre Crouch. In the dream with Maya, she was sitting on a golden throne. She invited me to come closer and shared an important message. She told me that darkness could never take my life, even when it attacked me fiercely with AIDS, AIDS-related dementia, and severe depression. I was simply too strong to let those challenges defeat me. Despite my struggles, I held onto hope and resilience.

However, she warned me that darkness would send its agents to undermine the gifts God had given me. These agents would try to distract me, discourage me, and make me doubt my abilities. I knew I had to stay alert and protect the talents I was meant to share with the world. I would not let darkness dim my light or lessen the purpose I was meant to fulfill.

Andre Crouch and I were sitting at a piano when he looked at me, pointed to his head, and said, “You hear beats in your mind.” I nodded and he continued, saying that when I hear those beats, I should write a title, and the rest will come. He tapped a key on the piano and emphasized that once I have the title, the rest will follow. As I was leaving, he called my name and told me that one day I would be a great songwriter.

Satan’s Wish for God’s Children

Envy and Corruption:
The devil was cast out of God’s presence and is deeply envious of the blessings God gives to humans, particularly his “children”. 

• Targeting Innocence:
  He is obsessed with destroying the innocence of God’s children and corrupting their lives. 
• Rejecting the Gift of God:
  The devil’s plan is to tempt people to reject the heavenly gift of God’s grace and family, as seen in ancient practices of child sacrifice and modern-day abortion. 

How the Devil Corrupts Gifts

• Misusing God’s Gifts:
  He cannot create anything himself but instead uses the gifts and talents that God has given to people, turning them into weapons for destruction. 
• Corrupting Freedom:
  For example, he tempts people to use their God-given freedom in ways that go against goodness, leading to sin and corruption. 
• Spiritual Deception:
  The devil uses tricks and temptation to keep people trapped and distant from God, according to prepare forthelamb.org and ascensionpress.com.

The Contrast with God

• In contrast to the devil’s destructive nature, Jesus teaches that God is a loving Father who delights in giving “good things to those who ask Him”. 
• God’s gifts are “good and perfect,” and He desires to give the Holy Spirit to those who ask.